We pulled our 4 kids out of public school for several reasons. They had no idea what to do with Matthew, our math genius child. Alex was suspended for 2 weeks because he accidentally left his boy scout knife in his jacket pocket (zero tolerance policy), plus he was being constantly bullied (autism made him a favorite target) . The girls were struggling in English and no one gave a damn.
The schools were not the same as when I was a student. The high school now had the nickname of "Heroin High" because of the rampant drug and alcohol use by the students.
When he was 14, Matthew begged us to allow him to attend high school. I was not a fan of the idea, but I gave him the green light. Four years later, we all attended his graduation.
It was official, my youngest was no longer a child, but a young man.
Being homeschooled, my other children didn't seem to care about graduation or proms one way or the other. They had other events to celebrate, like getting their driver's license and landing their first job. Matthew went to college for a year and then dropped out.
I remember now that our son didn't want to attend his college graduation and how disappointed we were that we didn't get to celebrate that achievement.
Since my immigrant parents never graduated from anywhere and had limited formal education, it WAS a benchmark to me to be able to earn a higher education diploma. but look how myopic and narcissistic I was as a young one to include them.......
I did go to my high school graduation with my parents, but not my college graduation. A friend, who had graduated the year before, went to the event which was held in an outdoor amphitheater, and told me it was an absolute travesty. College graduates (who were presumed to be young adults) threw objects down from the stands and generally acted like ten-year-olds. I didn't want to subject myself or various relatives to that kind of behavior, so I just stayed home and had my diploma mailed to me.
So lovely. You have had an amazing identity journey.
thank you. if we really think about it, we all have............
yes. old age is a wonderful mirror to the past..what we can remember of it!
What a wonderful story! Heartbreakingly beautiful.
I love your writing.
xo
Jill
what a privilege to engage in the examined life with the perspective of years...
Amen
that letter you wrote to your parents - even now so important.
wish I had a copy of it...
devastating, in its honesty and truth.. and boy do I relate. as always, kudos dear friend
We pulled our 4 kids out of public school for several reasons. They had no idea what to do with Matthew, our math genius child. Alex was suspended for 2 weeks because he accidentally left his boy scout knife in his jacket pocket (zero tolerance policy), plus he was being constantly bullied (autism made him a favorite target) . The girls were struggling in English and no one gave a damn.
The schools were not the same as when I was a student. The high school now had the nickname of "Heroin High" because of the rampant drug and alcohol use by the students.
When he was 14, Matthew begged us to allow him to attend high school. I was not a fan of the idea, but I gave him the green light. Four years later, we all attended his graduation.
It was official, my youngest was no longer a child, but a young man.
Being homeschooled, my other children didn't seem to care about graduation or proms one way or the other. They had other events to celebrate, like getting their driver's license and landing their first job. Matthew went to college for a year and then dropped out.
you've had quite a journey
You don't know the half of it.
One day, I will tell you the rest of my story.
I remember now that our son didn't want to attend his college graduation and how disappointed we were that we didn't get to celebrate that achievement.
all the parent-child variants... thank you for reading, always.
So beautiful, honest. Thank you, Judith.
PS I didn't go to my college graduation: too big, almost commercial and was happy to have missed it!
Since my immigrant parents never graduated from anywhere and had limited formal education, it WAS a benchmark to me to be able to earn a higher education diploma. but look how myopic and narcissistic I was as a young one to include them.......
thank YOU!
A poignant story, Judith, written beautifully.
I did go to my high school graduation with my parents, but not my college graduation. A friend, who had graduated the year before, went to the event which was held in an outdoor amphitheater, and told me it was an absolute travesty. College graduates (who were presumed to be young adults) threw objects down from the stands and generally acted like ten-year-olds. I didn't want to subject myself or various relatives to that kind of behavior, so I just stayed home and had my diploma mailed to me.
as always, thank you for the compliment.
it's gratifying to me to raise memories in people who read my posts.